Decluttering

December 28, 2023

A Life Update and the Story Jesus is Writing

God has been showing me lots of things over the past few years, so much, actually. So, I figure it’s time to share my story. I am so grateful for the hard truths He’s shown me, and the growth in me that’s been different than any growth I’ve ever experienced. In mid 2018-mid 2022, I went through one of the worst depressions of my life. I later found out that some of it was probably due to a medical condition (I found out I had an autoimmune disease – Grave’s Disease). But, the emotional turmoil of crying every single day for nearly a year, and the overwhelming anxiety (I had never experienced anxiety like that…. Where your mind believes so many lies and fear is crippling, and just daily tasks became so overwhelming that I was unable to function as a normal person, let alone a mom or wife) put me in a place where I knew I’d never come out if I didn’t go to Jesus and rest in Him. During that time the only strength I could muster was spending time with Jesus in His Word, or taking pictures of nature (His glorious creation). Those things calmed me when everything else in my life was stricken with sadness, anxiety, and overwhelm. Then, a dear friend invited me to try Celebrate Recovery. She’d asked me many times before, but I always thought I didn’t have addiction, I didn’t need recovery. But, she told me that it might help with my depression. So, I went with her. She was right! Celebrate Recovery is for EVERY SINGLE HUMAN BEING ON THE PLANET! It’s for normal people, because we all have struggles, habits, or hang-ups. The difference between Celebrate Recovery and a regular church service is that ALL the people at Celebrate Recovery admit their struggles, habits, and hang-ups. They are real, and they love like Jesus does, unconditionally and without judgement. And, when you’re struggling with depression and anxiety, you feel like EVERYONE is judging you and that no one cares or loves you. So, it was exactly what I needed to start recovering. Then, I joined Pampered Chef, which took off like crazy and I was very successful. It gave me something to focus on instead of the overwhelm and anxiety that I was experiencing (which was good in some ways, but in others, because I became so successful so quickly, caused anxiety and overwhelm in business, when I hadn’t yet overcome the overwhelm at the state of my home, or relationships within my family. Because remember, I was not functioning well in any capacity until I functioned well doing Pampered Chef.) The Lord showed me that I needed to start with ONE SMALL AREA, (nothing nearly as big as a business!)…Just one baby step at a time. So, I chose education for my children. During that time, because I’d not been functioning well at all, my girls were not completing near the school they should have been. (I homeschooled them, so that’s a serious problem!) So, it was now fall/winter of 2019 and I knew I didn’t have the capacity to homeschool them because I was still not functioning well, and because homeschooling is really not a baby step, it’s almost as big as a successful business! I thought that maybe the girls could go to the Montessori schoolhouse that is right near our home, so I set up a tour and got the information. But, they only had space for my oldest still at home. So, I enrolled her during the winter break and she would start in January of 2020, and figured that maybe with just one at home, I’d be able to handle my youngest who was just in 1st grade during that time. Then COVID hit just a couple months after she started which was not fun at all because I ended up trying to help her navigate school from home through the school…. Which was worse than trying to homeschool her myself, but we endured and figured it out.

But, again, because I was still depressed and anxiety stricken, I was still feeling full of chaos. However, my business was skyrocketing through the pandemic, so I was taken over by my work schedule (which never seemed to end). And, my husband was taking care of the kids and house while the world was shut down. I’m so thankful for my husband stepping in, though, because otherwise chaos in our home would have continued to destroy me. But, slowly the world started opening up again, and my husband went back to work. And, around that time, I was beginning to heal some more and I realized that my depression and anxiety had negatively affected my children, and they were both not doing well… One was acting out, and the other was depressed and also full of anxiety. So, we started home therapy for them. I slowed my business a ton in order to help them recover. It was through my two daughter’s therapy that I realized that for them to heal, I would need to heal, as well. I needed the Lord to show me how to handle all that was going on. He then led me to put my other daughter in a private school. I never imagined that I would do that, I’d homeschooled all my kids to graduation, but I knew it wasn’t in my capacity to keep doing it at that time. I needed to continue healing and I needed to be able to help my other daughter heal. And, I also knew that structure was one thing that would help the daughter that was acting out, so putting her in school would help with that structure. A huge thing that the Lord helped me learn during that time was that I could not control everything. I was a control freak, and I think that’s one of the reasons I homeschooled, because I could control what my children learned that way. It’s also the reason that I go ALL in on things…. Like my Pampered Chef business, but this was also a way for me to be in control. And, I’m not the one that’s supposed to be in control, the Lord wants my surrender of control so that He can free me from those burdens. Because, even though I didn’t realize it for years, being “in control” of everything really kept me in chaos and made me feel stuck in a place of constant failure. I did well on the outside, I looked great to others, but inside I was a hot mess, and my life, family, and home was falling apart. You see, in my stress and control, I thought it was my way or the highway when it came to my parenting. And, that damaged my relationship with my children. I was critical of my family all the time, because it was easier to blame them than for me to take ownership of my failures. My home was constantly a wreck because I didn’t have the proper habits in place to keep it running smoothly and without chaos. And, all that led to further chaos and shame. I would practically kill myself to clean the house when company would come and then felt like the martyr because no one respected me enough to help. (Why should they respect a screaming, out of control maniac?)

I cried when I dropped my daughter off at school that first day, in the fall of 2020, but the school was so family friendly and they hugged me and reassured me, and then after I left the principal and my daughter’s teacher would send frequent pictures showing me how well she was doing. And, I was then able to continue working my PC business (though much less) and help my other daughter heal. During that school year, I continued studying the Word, and focused on helping my daughters heal. That’s really all I could muster. I was still recovering from the busyness of Pampered Chef, and putting one kiddo in school, and trying to keep the other one at home homeschooling and healing.

After that school year, the Lord showed me that I needed to start taking care of myself, too, with baby steps. So, in the summer of 2021, I hired a health coach to help me get healthy in my body…. Through, eating whole foods and working out. Whole health was also touched on (mind health, emotional health, and Spiritual health), but for me during that time, I was mostly focusing on my body in my baby steps. School was out, thankfully, and I was able to focus fully on my body and getting it healthy. I was hoping that losing weight would continue the healing process, and it did help with confidence, but I was still not fully myself. During the fall/winter of 2021, I had stopped working with the health coach because financially I couldn’t make it happen, and I had all but stopped working Pampered Chef. I also started regaining all the weight I’d lost with the holiday seasons and the lack of accountability. But, in our women’s Bible study at church, we were going through Priscilla Shirer’s Armor of God. I’d done this same study around 2016 (so about 5 years before then). I thought it would be fun to do it again, because it was such a great study, and compare my notes from both studies. So that’s what I did. But, what I discovered in comparing them shocked me! I was still struggling with the EXACT same things I had 5 years earlier! That was the Lord showing me that, though I love to learn and study His Word, I’m lacking in actually doing what it says and applying it to my life. Wow! That was a huge dose of humble pie to swallow! So, once again, the Lord showed me that I needed to take baby steps to become a better version of myself, the version that He had created me to be all along. So, I started with just two habits of cleaning my home ….. One load of laundry every day (I actually set alarms on my phone so that I wouldn’t forget to do it, and another alarm to switch it over to the dryer). Then, the second habit was to unload and reload the dishwasher every day. Then in the Spring of 2022 I met a lovely lady who sold Arbonne. Arbonne is healthy living products (for skin and body). Products for gut health, and non-toxic ingredients. She loved on me, and helped me understand whole health is way more than just the body. It focuses on loving the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Not just the body, but every part of me. We did a Bible study called Revelation Wellness together that opened up my heart to so much truth, and such a different way of thinking. My mind had been stuck in a pattern of wrong habits and wrong thinking. I had strongholds in my life and had never even realized they were strongholds! The Lord has caused the veil to be lifted from my mind, the scales to be removed from my eyes, and I’m becoming a new person, a transformed person because of the power of the Holy Spirit!! I am weak, but His strength in me is powerful! He has revealed to me little bits of my sin over time so that I can tap into His power to change me into who He created me to be. Now, my habits are healthy, and my home is almost always company ready (not perfect, but I’m able to enjoy my company rather than stress about what they think of the state of my home). I’m consistently working out and working on my whole health… Mind renewal, loving the Lord and others, seeking His purposes rather than my own, and taking care of my body in a reasonable way not an ALL IN perfect way.

In the summer of 2022, my oldest and only son, got married! Then, in the spring of 2023, my oldest daughter also got married! And, that same spring, my daughter who had been depressed and anxiety ridden graduated high school 2 years early! She is doing SO MUCH BETTER, praise the Lord! And, she was called by the Lord to go on mission this past summer through Spurgeon College in a program called Fusion! We are so very proud of her!

The Lord has continued to work on me. I have been in a season of unknowns for over a year now. The Lord took me away from teaching 5th & 6th grade Sunday School at our church, and has pulled me from almost all ministry. He has worked on my heart and helped me to understand that self-discipline and consistency are key in whatever I do, whether it be Bible Study, working out, chores and good habits in my home, and even decluttering. You see, my home had been in such a constant state of chaos for so long that we had accumulated an enormous amount of belongings that didn’t ever find a home. Things would just be thrown about in every room, and my room was always the “catch all”, especially when company was coming. So, along with taking care of my heart, soul, mind, and body, I felt the Lord leading me to declutter my home. I knew that I would not be able to get rid of the mind clutter and find clarity in what exactly the Lord wanted me to do next without getting rid of the clutter in my home. So, though I dreaded starting the process because of how overwhelming it was, I started anyway. I started small….in my bathroom. It took me a full week, working a little bit at a time (which was all I could seem to fit in with my schedule), to finish that small area! I thought, “I’m never going to get my whole house done!” But, I kept feeling the Lord nudging me to keep at it. I knew that He had a plan, and in order to find out more of what the plan was, I would have to keep moving forward in all the areas He was calling me to work on. And, man….those areas kept coming. As soon as He’d show me one, He’d show me another. It would overwhelm me with how much He wanted to change in me! But, that overwhelm keeps me humble so that I understand it’s not the work I’m doing that should get the glory, it’s not me…it’s His strength in me that keeps me moving forward and making those changes. He deserves ALL the glory! So, next I decided that we would tackle my youngest daughter’s bedroom (which was so full of stuff, she hadn’t slept in there in years)! She would help me, because I didn’t want to toss anything without her approval. Well, she’s 10, so she LOVES everything! But, she did get rid of 3 bags of clothes, which made me so proud! But, toys, she didn’t want to get rid of much. We worked for a week before she headed off to summer camp, and I hoped we would finish before she left, but we did not get it done. So, while she was at camp, I chose to start on my room, which remember was the “catch all”, meaning it was probably one of the worst rooms in our house! I worked super hard for 3 days and got all but 2 drawers and my closet floor finished. I even rearranged my furniture! It’s so, so much better. And, since then, I have completed my room in it’s entirety, and we worked through my daughter’s room bit by bit. We did finish her room, but I’m finding with kids, it’s a constant work in progress, because they are still growing! Clothes will always have to be decluttered, as well as their taste in their belongings, but it is much easier to do when we stay on top of it by season. The dining room was tough because it had an armoire full of games, arts & crafts, and an organizational system of 12 cubbies with everything from homeschool books and curriculum, to coloring books, and whatever else my youngest had shoved in the drawers! It took a little while, but I did get it done before we started school this fall! I’m so thankful that I don’t have that ALL or NOTHING mentality anymore, or I’d probably never get anything accomplished at all!

Since starting the decluttering process over the summer, my mind got some more clarity. I felt like the next step after decluttering was to bring my youngest daughter back home for homeschooling! My original goal was to have the entire house, including the basement fully decluttered before we started school. That was a pretty impossible task, and I did not get that accomplished, but I will accomplish exactly what He wants in His exact time. More and more get done as time allows. And, the house is still being maintained, even since starting back to homeschooling, and I’ve even gotten into the habit of meal planning and grocery shopping on a regular basis (which is pretty important when you’re trying to continue on your health journey).

I’ve since learned that I will never be fully on top of everything, because He is the One in control and not me. I will just follow His lead each day, and I will accomplish exactly what He has planned for me, and when I do that, I feel good, because I know it’s exactly where I’m supposed to be. I also accomplish so much more when I’m in tune with Him and His plans. He is helping me to become the best version of myself, and I think where He’s leading me next is to help others who have struggled just like I have! It’s really being whole and complete in every area: heart, soul, mind, and body. And, because I really enjoy network marketing, and I believe it is the avenue that the Lord could use my voice to help others like He’s helped me, I am going to follow His lead into Arbonne, to reach others for His glory through sharing more and more of what I’ve learned about whole health, in order to help others feel healthy and whole, too.

So, there you have it! An update on my life….the story that Jesus has been writing in and through me. I am a work in progress, and I’m finally not just learning all He has for me, but I’m doing all He asks! And, that’s what makes all the difference!

With love,

Dena

June 25, 2016

Balance….it’s not what you think

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Balance.  We all need it.  It seems we are all searching for ways to get there, too.  It’s no easy task to live a balanced life these days!  The definition of balance is a means of judging or deciding and/or mental and emotional steadiness.  I’ve often asked myself, how do I balance it all?  With four kids ranging in age from 18 down to 3, it’s hard keeping up with all the activities, chores, homeschooling, Sunday School teaching, co-op preparations, a new Sunday night program I’m starting in August, husband pleasing, menu planning, grocery shopping, meal prep, etc., etc., etc.  That doesn’t even include the schedule or my times alone with the Lord.  I often feel frazzled, and it’s no wonder.  Busyness is taking over our culture.  If we aren’t busy, we question if we’re doing enough.

I seem to feel more “balanced” when I have a To-Do List.  I can’t seem to function without one.  Routines are also key.  Doing the same things every day in the exact same order. They don’t have to be a certain time, as long as they are in the same order. If I don’t have a To-Do List or follow my routines, I get nothing productive done.  I also have to set alarms on my phone for everything, or I’d forget.  Things like gymnastics, story time at the library, when to pick my kids up from events, trash day, etc.  Is this normal?  Or, am I just frazzled?  LOL!

I always thought that balance in life meant figuring out how to make everything in my day work out smoothly, without stress. It was something that I had to schedule correctly, work through, or make happen. I even thought that praying for a more balanced life was a good thing, and it is. But, I think balance is not exactly what I’ve been thinking it is.  I recently wrote this post about resources I have used to help me have a clean and organized home.  One of those resources that I’m reading through currently is a book called Unstuffed. It deals with our stuff/belongings, our mind, our schedules, and our spirits.  And, I’m finding out that balance really has nothing to do with what “I” do. I can’t do anything to become more balanced. I can only find rest. Rest is what keeps me balanced. Why did it take me SO LONG to realize this? I mean, it’s clearly laid out in the creation account of Genesis. God did all his work in six days, and on the seventh He rested. He didn’t need to rest, He was just giving us an example to follow. Yet, in this day and age, we don’t see that NEED for rest. We feel like we have to go 100 miles a minute, and keep pushing through to get just one more thing done.  I think it’s also making sure that after we get a full day of rest once a week, that we focus on four areas to keep us from that frazzled state.

  1. Spiritual – Remain steadfast in God’s Word and in a healthy prayer life.  Keep sin at bay by asking for forgiveness often and repenting or turning from the sin.  Forgive others as the Lord has forgiven you.  Be thankful in all circumstances and for all things.  We are truly blessed.  Serve others in love.
  2. Physical – Eat healthy foods and get active.  Whether that means walking or a full on workout.  Exercise is great for your body, but it’s also great for your mood.  Give it a try and see for yourself.  I enjoy water aerobics when the weather is nice, Pilates for strength training, yoga for stretching and relaxation, and I’m checking into T-Tapp which is something I’ve just learned about.
  3. Mental – Feed your mind.  Never stop learning.  I always have books on hand to read, and now we have blogs, and articles all over the internet.  Learn something new.  Keep your mind active.  Fill it with good things, and stay away from negative things that can cause a negative attitude or mindset.
  4. Emotional – Be a friend.  Stay positive.  Think on things that are true, noble, right, pure, and lovely.  Laugh a lot!  Do things that make you happy.  I’ve recently discovered that I enjoy doing art.  It brings me joy.  Make it a point to be in contact with people who encourage you, challenge you, and lift you up.

So, I believe to have a balanced life, we must REST.  It’s the key.  What are some ways you try to remain balanced?  Do you think REST is important?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.  I am planning to continue studying up on this.  I recently ordered the Bible Study called Living a Life of Balance (Women of Faith Series).  Can’t wait to get started on it and see what it says about having a balanced life!

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June 4, 2016

Summer Projects

Since we homeschool, projects usually have to wait until summer break.  Things like painting, huge decluttering sessions, home improvements, etc.

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A couple of summer’s ago, I refinished my oak dining room table.  Last summer I began the Kon Mari Method of decluttering and simplifying.  This summer is no different.  I have several things on my project list!  Here are some of those things, and I don’t know if I’ll even be able to complete them all!

  • Major Basement Declutter…this in and of itself is a HUGE job.  Our basement has become a catch all…and is really in bad shape.  I can’t wait to get it cleared out!
  • Move the toddler out of our bedroom and into her sister’s.  This means a new bed (hopefully a trundle) for them to share, and some rearranging of dressers and chest of drawers.
  • Potty training the toddler completely.  (Since the toddler was just mentioned, I figured I’d add this one in!  She is close to being finished, but still not 100%).
  • Kitchen Declutter, paint, and fix some minor cabinet issues.
  • Bathroom remodel (this one is mostly being hired out).
  • New Entry Doors.
  • Landscaping has been framed already, but now plants need to go in.
  • Make a head board for our bed.

Those are JUST the house projects!  Other projects include:

  • Sell baby items.
  • Price, list and sell old curriculum.  I also have a curriculum sale I’m going to that will help with this.
  • Purchase the rest of the curriculum for next year.
  • Write up lesson plans for our homeschool next year.
  • Make a working schedule for our school year.
  • Create a better chore system with earned money.
  • Create a better bedtime routine for the youngest children.

Something that I MUST do in the midst of all these projects is to remember to HAVE FUN on the summer break….things like swimming, going to the zoo, weekend getaways, summer camps, a family vacation, Royals games, and art days are planned.  Sometimes in the busyness of the summer projects, I can forget to stop the work, and have fun with the kids.  This year, I want to be different.  Memories are waiting to be made, relationships are longing to be built, joy is ready to be had.

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What are your summer plans?  Projects you’d like to complete?  FUN you want to do?

 

 

May 13, 2016

Resources for a Clean & Organized Home

clean-571679_1280I have been doing pretty well with my routines, and things have been shaping up around my house!  Yay!  So, I figured that I would give you all some FABULOUS resources that have helped me.  I have learned to be organized, and keep a home, all while homeschooling!  It can be done!  So, below I will have a list of awesome resources that have helped me along the way.  They aren’t in any particular order, but I will comment on each.

  • Sink Reflections by Marla Cilley a.k.a. The FlyLady – This resource may be one of my Top Picks!  It is extremely practical in helping you learn how to start creating routines and helping you develop good habits.  There is also a daily email reminder list you can get if you like, but the book alone is a HUGE help!  It was often the only encouragement I would get, and it was so encouraging!  Marla truly cares for her Fly Babies (as we are called), and really wants to help people.  Find the website with all kinds of helpful information here.
  • The House That Cleans Itself by Mindy Starns Clark – This was another practical book that helped me to reorganize my home so that cleaning was not so difficult.  It taught me things such as keeping like things together so they are easily found, and placing bins in places that seem to collect messes.
  • The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo – I wrote a review of this book last summer.  Here is that review:
    My REVIEW of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo (BEFORE implemetation of her method}

    Well, to start off, I have to say that The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up was something like I’ve never read before.  I’ve read many books about decluttering, cleaning, and organizing and this one was nothing like the others.  Not at all!  Obviously, by the amount of books I’ve read on the topic, this is an area that I struggle with and have struggled with for most of my life, if not all of it.  In fact, I am a huge fan and follower of FlyLady’s principles and have been for several years.  I have read her book, Sink Reflections, many times.  But, even with her ideas, I still struggle with the 15 minute decluttering sessions, and the detailed cleaning.  I have gone through some great periods of sticking to the daily routines, though, and I did like that part of FlyLady’s program, because if you follow it, it does work.  (But, again, I could never get past the DAILY routines to fit in the rest of the program!)

    So, when I saw some recent posts about the KonMarie Method, I was quite intrigued.  It is the Japanese art of decluttering and organizing.  The posts and articles that I read were written by people who had read this book, and who had implemented the ideas or method into their own lives.  They were all very enthusiastic about it and even showed pictures and videos of some of the implementation.  It looked quite inspiring, and I couldn’t wait to get my hands on the book and see if it would be something that would work for me. 

    Now that I have finished the book, I have mixed feelings about it.  I will detail those shortly.  I think some of the ideas are so different that they took me by surprise and at first I didn’t like them because they were so different.  But, as I continued to read, I came to understand more fully the reasoning behind them and think it might be worth a try to begin implementing them.  However, there were still some things that bothered me.  For instance, the almost worship like behavior of belongings.  That is not something I want to do or ever plan to do!

    So, I will start with the aspects of the KonMarie Method that I do like.  I like that she believes that tidying a little every day will cause you to be tidying forever.  I am not a naturally tidy person, so I would LOVE to not have to be tidying forever, and apparently if you use this method, you won’t have to ever tidy again.  (I do have to mention that her definition of tidying is not cleaning.  It is decluttering.  Tidying is decluttering, and if you do it her way just once, you’ll never have to do it again.  I LIKE that, I like it a lot!)  I also like that she believes that storage experts are hoarders.  That cracks me up!  I can definitely see her point.  I like that she suggests sorting by category, not by location.  I have always decluttered by the room.  I would start in the bedroom by sorting my clothes into keep, give, and trash piles.  Then, I would organize them back into the drawers or closet.  I would go through my entire bedroom sorting and organizing this way until the room was all the way decluttered and re-organized, then I would give it a good cleaning.  After I was done with my bedroom, I’d move on to the next room and repeat.  With the KonMarie method, you don’t go room to room, you go category by category.  Clothes are first, then books, and the list continues all the way to mementos or sentimental items.  At first this threw me way off, but I grew to really like the idea behind working in this fashion.  The next thing I really like is that you are to ask yourself when discarding, “Does this item spark joy?”  If it does not, you tell it goodbye; if it does bring joy, you keep it.  It sounds wonderful to only keep those things that bring joy.  It might become a tad tricky if your pots and pans don’t spark joy, but I do think the reasoning behind her having you ask this for each item makes a lot of sense. She says that if it sparks joy, you will take better care of the item, and therefore, it will last longer and continue to spark joy for a very long time.  I like that she has a particular order of categories to follow when decluttering.  I need help, and her giving the instructions with an order is very helpful.  I like that every item is supposed to be stored vertically.  This includes clothing!  Sounds absolutely crazy, but the pictures and videos I’ve seen are amazing.  This way you truly can see everything you own in a glance, and much less space is taken up.  It’s quite genius, actually!  I like that she says about books, “Sometime means never.”  If I haven’t read it, I most likely won’t read it.  It’s a hard thing to swallow as I’m a lover of books, but it is pretty accurate, I’m afraid.  She also says that the books to keep are those that belong in the Hall of Fame.  I have some of those books, and they are definitely keepers!  I like that when it comes to storage, she says that simplicity is best.  You don’t have to go out and buy expensive storage solutions.  I like that storage spaces are not to be scattered throughout the house.  I like that she suggests keeping things out of the bath/shower and kitchen sink areas.  At first, I thought this was crazy!  But, if you just get your bath/shower items out as you use them, and the soaps/brushes out as needed for cleaning dishes, how much simpler would it be to clean the shower and sink areas?  And, how much nicer and less cluttered those spaces would always look!  I also like how she says that we should appreciate the items we have.  It helps us to take proper care of them if we are thankful for them.  I have to agree.  These are many of the things that I liked about the book.

    Now I will share those things that I didn’t like so much.  I don’t like that photos are to be cherished for who we are now.  It seems like she is promoting getting rid of old photos and there are way too many memories in old photos for me.  Maybe if I stored them properly in a memory book, and that was an item I loved and brought me joy, I could see her point.  But, just discarding anything that is not current?  I don’t think so!  I don’t like that she says to forget about flow planning and frequency of use.  To me, there are some things that are conveniently located for a purpose (because of flow) and others that are placed where they are placed because of how frequently they are used.  So, this doesn’t make a lot of sense to me.  Maybe when I begin implementing the rest of her method, it will make more sense, but it doesn’t right now.  Another thing I do not like is the recommendation to empty my bag every single day.  (She is speaking of your purse and/or briefcase).  Why would I do this?  It baffles my mind, even after she explained why, I still don’t get it.  The next thing I do not like is making the top shelf of bookcases a personal shrine.  Won’t do it.  Never will.  I don’t worship things, and that is definitely a cultural thing I will not be implementing.  I also do not like how often it is mentioned to speak to your belongings, greet them, thank them, allow them to help you, and the mention of good fortune that will come when tidying.  I do believe that we should be grateful for what the Lord has blessed us with, and maybe I can turn these suggestions into having a grateful attitude to the Lord rather than to the item itself.  It’s just all kind of creepy and it’s sprinkled throughout the entire book.  For those reasons, I’m not sure I can recommend reading the book.  However, there were many good ideas, and I do plan to try to implement them.  I’m actually anxious to get started and plan to re-evaluate my review after I’ve tried implementing the KonMarie Method in my own home.  Tidying may begin as soon as tomorrow! 🙂

    Now that it’s been almost a year since writing this review, I can give a small update.  I still agree with most all that I wrote!  I did end up getting rid of A TON of stuff!  I think it was approximately 20 boxes and 30 trash bags of stuff, and I was unable to even get to my linens or kitchen!  The one thing that I do disagree with is that once you do this tidying (decluttering) you will never have to do it again.  Because I am a homeschooler, books will always need to be paired down, and because I have kids, toys and kid’s clothing will always have to be paried down.  However, if I lived alone, this would be true!  My favorite thing that was implemented (besides the feeling I got from getting rid of so much stuff) was the drawer organization.  It has made a HUGE difference!  I love the way my drawers look ALL the time, and I can literally see everything I own in every drawer.  I hope to continue with the tidying this summer by finishing the kitchen, and working through all the stuff in our basement.  I can’t wait!

  • Unstuffed by Ruth Soukup – This is a book I’ve most recently been reading.  It is also a lot about decluttering, not only our homes, but our schedules and minds.  I am not completely finished with this book, but I already know it’s one I want to add to this list.

Okay!  There you go.  These are four of my all time favorite resources for helping me to get my home clean and organized.  And, when my  home is clean and organized, it also makes me a better wife, mom, homeschool teacher, and friend.  And, I am better prepared to serve with a joyful heart.  Which reminds me of one more book!  Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World by Joanna Weaver.  Check it out!

I hope these books can help you as they have helped me.  I imagine many of them can be checked out at a library.  Enjoy!  And, because I love to read, I’d love to hear of other great books that you’ve read on this topic!  Please share!

April 22, 2016

More Chaos, Less Order

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I am going to be completely honest here, and say that one of my all time biggest struggles is keeping a clean home.  Oh, I try to.  And, there’s been times in my life where I’ve done better than others.  But, it is truly a real struggle.  I don’t really know the reason why.  I think part of the reason is that I’m a perfectionist.  You may be thinking….”Well, if you’re a perfectionist, it would make sense that the house is always in perfect order.”  You would think so, however, I’ve found that my perfectionism also can cause utter chaos.  I rationalize that since I don’t have time to make it perfect like I want it, I might as well not do it at all.  It’s really pretty silly for me to think that way, because doing SOMETHING is certainly better than doing NOTHING.  But, sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed and almost paralized because I just can’t keep up with it all.  I have four kids, and with each addition, it seems to have gotten more difficult.  And, this overwhelmed feeling leads to much guilt, and feelings of failure.  It’s a pretty dreadful place to be.

I’ve read numerous books on cleaning and organization.  I’ve even implemented many plans.  I definitely have some favorite books I could recommend on the topic, and I may just list them at some point in case this is a struggle for anyone else.  But, the truth of the matter is….unless you put into practice what you read, and not just for a short time, but for the long haul, it will not stick.  It’s really quite a bummer.  I’ve often wished I could hire out help for keeping a clean house, but I am a stay at home momma, so I should be able to handle this!  I’ve had some great friends and family come and help me during some extra overwhelming times in my life.  They proved to be such a blessing, but the guilt returns once again when I’m unable to maintain what they helped me to create.

The longer I struggle with this, and the more I pray about it, I am coming to the conclusion that it’s really a whole lot about habits.  We get into these bad habits, like:

  • Leaving things out because we think it takes too long to put them away
  • Rushing to leave, so we don’t have time to pick up first (this is also a time management problem that seems to go along with the chaos of a messy home)
  • Spending too much time on screens….t.v., social media, phones
  • Sleeping in when getting up earlier would be a better choice
  • Staying up too late…then being too tired to accomplish much the next day
  • Procrastinating
  • Having TOO MUCH STUFF
  • Allowing things to build up to an overwhelming state
  • Not taking time out for recharging (I recharge by listening to Worship music, spending time in prayer and Bible Study, enjoying nature drawing and journaling, art, and date nights with my husband, or girls night’s out)
  • Not having a plan for meals…until the last minute
  • Not having a plan for each day

And, once bad habits are formed, they are VERY HARD to break!

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I’m currently reading yet another book on clutter.  I do find that reading the books help me to get motivated to make the necessary changes.  Since begining to read this latest book, I have gone back to making daily To-Do Lists.  It really helps me to maintain good habits.  Right now my list consists of:

  • Making My Bed as soon as I rise
  • Getting Ready for the day (Shower, Dress, Hair, Face)
  • Making and Eating Breakfast
  • Bible Study & Prayer Time
  • Daily Chores
  • Homeschooling

After I complete all of these things, I add to my list other things I’d like to accomplish that I may or may not get to.  For instance, right now, I am preparing for my son’s graduation so I have on my list to get the address labels made for the graduation invitations.  I’m also in the midst of planning homeschooling for next year, writing lesson plans, selling old curriculum, etc.  So, I add those things so I don’t forget anything.  And, if I don’t get to those things, I just move them to the list for the next day.  Having a list has really helped me stay better on task each day, feel more organized, and accomplish more. It has also helped me to prioritize the most important things.  So, for me a list is really necessary!  I can’t believe I allowed myself to stop using one for awhile.  Chaos returns with a vengeance when I don’t!

The last couple books I’ve read have really focused a lot on getting rid of so.much.stuff.  It’s impossible to keep a home clean when the clutter is overtaking it.  And, not really just clutter, but any access items.  We don’t NEED all the stuff that we own, but we just keep bringing more in!  It’s especially hard with kids and toys.  And, homeschooling makes it tough, too.  But, I do feel so much better emotionally, when my house feels like it’s been cleaned out.  Last summer, I did a major declutter.  I went through all the bedrooms, closets, clothes, toys, books, etc, and packed up probably 15-20 bags to give away.  It felt awesome!  That was after the last book I read on this subject.  I’ve learned, though, that after almost a year, it is something that needs to be done probably quarterly.  Otherwise more stuff keeps coming in!  With birthdays and Christmas gifts, with homeschooling books and supplies, with new clothes and shoes, and growing children….the stuff justs continues to accumulate.  And, once again, I’m feeling the suffocation of an unorganized, cluttered house.  And, honestly, I’ve learned you really can’t organize clutter.  It’s nice to organize those things you love and are keeping.  But, I must get rid of the rest!

So, since realizing I once again need to purge….I’m planning to tackle what I didn’t accomplish last year.  That includes the linen closet, bathroom cabinets, kitchen cabinets, and revamping of the kids clothes, shoes, and toys, and the most dreaded of all….the BASEMENT…otherwise known as the dungeon.  I’m actually hoping to get my entire family on board for the basement, and hoping to tackle it all over one weekend.  I don’t know if I will be able to accomplish it all in one weekend, but I do think it’s a great goal.  So, hopefully I can post an update with the before and after pictures!  And, if I’m able to maintain by developing GOOD habits to replace my bad ones, I will share my awesome list of books I’ve used over the years that have helped me a ton!

So, do you struggle with keeping a clean home?  Clutter?  Disorganization?  Have you conquered these struggles in your life?  If so, I’d love to hear how you got from Chaos to Order!