About Me

December 28, 2023

A Life Update and the Story Jesus is Writing

God has been showing me lots of things over the past few years, so much, actually. So, I figure it’s time to share my story. I am so grateful for the hard truths He’s shown me, and the growth in me that’s been different than any growth I’ve ever experienced. In mid 2018-mid 2022, I went through one of the worst depressions of my life. I later found out that some of it was probably due to a medical condition (I found out I had an autoimmune disease – Grave’s Disease). But, the emotional turmoil of crying every single day for nearly a year, and the overwhelming anxiety (I had never experienced anxiety like that…. Where your mind believes so many lies and fear is crippling, and just daily tasks became so overwhelming that I was unable to function as a normal person, let alone a mom or wife) put me in a place where I knew I’d never come out if I didn’t go to Jesus and rest in Him. During that time the only strength I could muster was spending time with Jesus in His Word, or taking pictures of nature (His glorious creation). Those things calmed me when everything else in my life was stricken with sadness, anxiety, and overwhelm. Then, a dear friend invited me to try Celebrate Recovery. She’d asked me many times before, but I always thought I didn’t have addiction, I didn’t need recovery. But, she told me that it might help with my depression. So, I went with her. She was right! Celebrate Recovery is for EVERY SINGLE HUMAN BEING ON THE PLANET! It’s for normal people, because we all have struggles, habits, or hang-ups. The difference between Celebrate Recovery and a regular church service is that ALL the people at Celebrate Recovery admit their struggles, habits, and hang-ups. They are real, and they love like Jesus does, unconditionally and without judgement. And, when you’re struggling with depression and anxiety, you feel like EVERYONE is judging you and that no one cares or loves you. So, it was exactly what I needed to start recovering. Then, I joined Pampered Chef, which took off like crazy and I was very successful. It gave me something to focus on instead of the overwhelm and anxiety that I was experiencing (which was good in some ways, but in others, because I became so successful so quickly, caused anxiety and overwhelm in business, when I hadn’t yet overcome the overwhelm at the state of my home, or relationships within my family. Because remember, I was not functioning well in any capacity until I functioned well doing Pampered Chef.) The Lord showed me that I needed to start with ONE SMALL AREA, (nothing nearly as big as a business!)…Just one baby step at a time. So, I chose education for my children. During that time, because I’d not been functioning well at all, my girls were not completing near the school they should have been. (I homeschooled them, so that’s a serious problem!) So, it was now fall/winter of 2019 and I knew I didn’t have the capacity to homeschool them because I was still not functioning well, and because homeschooling is really not a baby step, it’s almost as big as a successful business! I thought that maybe the girls could go to the Montessori schoolhouse that is right near our home, so I set up a tour and got the information. But, they only had space for my oldest still at home. So, I enrolled her during the winter break and she would start in January of 2020, and figured that maybe with just one at home, I’d be able to handle my youngest who was just in 1st grade during that time. Then COVID hit just a couple months after she started which was not fun at all because I ended up trying to help her navigate school from home through the school…. Which was worse than trying to homeschool her myself, but we endured and figured it out.

But, again, because I was still depressed and anxiety stricken, I was still feeling full of chaos. However, my business was skyrocketing through the pandemic, so I was taken over by my work schedule (which never seemed to end). And, my husband was taking care of the kids and house while the world was shut down. I’m so thankful for my husband stepping in, though, because otherwise chaos in our home would have continued to destroy me. But, slowly the world started opening up again, and my husband went back to work. And, around that time, I was beginning to heal some more and I realized that my depression and anxiety had negatively affected my children, and they were both not doing well… One was acting out, and the other was depressed and also full of anxiety. So, we started home therapy for them. I slowed my business a ton in order to help them recover. It was through my two daughter’s therapy that I realized that for them to heal, I would need to heal, as well. I needed the Lord to show me how to handle all that was going on. He then led me to put my other daughter in a private school. I never imagined that I would do that, I’d homeschooled all my kids to graduation, but I knew it wasn’t in my capacity to keep doing it at that time. I needed to continue healing and I needed to be able to help my other daughter heal. And, I also knew that structure was one thing that would help the daughter that was acting out, so putting her in school would help with that structure. A huge thing that the Lord helped me learn during that time was that I could not control everything. I was a control freak, and I think that’s one of the reasons I homeschooled, because I could control what my children learned that way. It’s also the reason that I go ALL in on things…. Like my Pampered Chef business, but this was also a way for me to be in control. And, I’m not the one that’s supposed to be in control, the Lord wants my surrender of control so that He can free me from those burdens. Because, even though I didn’t realize it for years, being “in control” of everything really kept me in chaos and made me feel stuck in a place of constant failure. I did well on the outside, I looked great to others, but inside I was a hot mess, and my life, family, and home was falling apart. You see, in my stress and control, I thought it was my way or the highway when it came to my parenting. And, that damaged my relationship with my children. I was critical of my family all the time, because it was easier to blame them than for me to take ownership of my failures. My home was constantly a wreck because I didn’t have the proper habits in place to keep it running smoothly and without chaos. And, all that led to further chaos and shame. I would practically kill myself to clean the house when company would come and then felt like the martyr because no one respected me enough to help. (Why should they respect a screaming, out of control maniac?)

I cried when I dropped my daughter off at school that first day, in the fall of 2020, but the school was so family friendly and they hugged me and reassured me, and then after I left the principal and my daughter’s teacher would send frequent pictures showing me how well she was doing. And, I was then able to continue working my PC business (though much less) and help my other daughter heal. During that school year, I continued studying the Word, and focused on helping my daughters heal. That’s really all I could muster. I was still recovering from the busyness of Pampered Chef, and putting one kiddo in school, and trying to keep the other one at home homeschooling and healing.

After that school year, the Lord showed me that I needed to start taking care of myself, too, with baby steps. So, in the summer of 2021, I hired a health coach to help me get healthy in my body…. Through, eating whole foods and working out. Whole health was also touched on (mind health, emotional health, and Spiritual health), but for me during that time, I was mostly focusing on my body in my baby steps. School was out, thankfully, and I was able to focus fully on my body and getting it healthy. I was hoping that losing weight would continue the healing process, and it did help with confidence, but I was still not fully myself. During the fall/winter of 2021, I had stopped working with the health coach because financially I couldn’t make it happen, and I had all but stopped working Pampered Chef. I also started regaining all the weight I’d lost with the holiday seasons and the lack of accountability. But, in our women’s Bible study at church, we were going through Priscilla Shirer’s Armor of God. I’d done this same study around 2016 (so about 5 years before then). I thought it would be fun to do it again, because it was such a great study, and compare my notes from both studies. So that’s what I did. But, what I discovered in comparing them shocked me! I was still struggling with the EXACT same things I had 5 years earlier! That was the Lord showing me that, though I love to learn and study His Word, I’m lacking in actually doing what it says and applying it to my life. Wow! That was a huge dose of humble pie to swallow! So, once again, the Lord showed me that I needed to take baby steps to become a better version of myself, the version that He had created me to be all along. So, I started with just two habits of cleaning my home ….. One load of laundry every day (I actually set alarms on my phone so that I wouldn’t forget to do it, and another alarm to switch it over to the dryer). Then, the second habit was to unload and reload the dishwasher every day. Then in the Spring of 2022 I met a lovely lady who sold Arbonne. Arbonne is healthy living products (for skin and body). Products for gut health, and non-toxic ingredients. She loved on me, and helped me understand whole health is way more than just the body. It focuses on loving the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Not just the body, but every part of me. We did a Bible study called Revelation Wellness together that opened up my heart to so much truth, and such a different way of thinking. My mind had been stuck in a pattern of wrong habits and wrong thinking. I had strongholds in my life and had never even realized they were strongholds! The Lord has caused the veil to be lifted from my mind, the scales to be removed from my eyes, and I’m becoming a new person, a transformed person because of the power of the Holy Spirit!! I am weak, but His strength in me is powerful! He has revealed to me little bits of my sin over time so that I can tap into His power to change me into who He created me to be. Now, my habits are healthy, and my home is almost always company ready (not perfect, but I’m able to enjoy my company rather than stress about what they think of the state of my home). I’m consistently working out and working on my whole health… Mind renewal, loving the Lord and others, seeking His purposes rather than my own, and taking care of my body in a reasonable way not an ALL IN perfect way.

In the summer of 2022, my oldest and only son, got married! Then, in the spring of 2023, my oldest daughter also got married! And, that same spring, my daughter who had been depressed and anxiety ridden graduated high school 2 years early! She is doing SO MUCH BETTER, praise the Lord! And, she was called by the Lord to go on mission this past summer through Spurgeon College in a program called Fusion! We are so very proud of her!

The Lord has continued to work on me. I have been in a season of unknowns for over a year now. The Lord took me away from teaching 5th & 6th grade Sunday School at our church, and has pulled me from almost all ministry. He has worked on my heart and helped me to understand that self-discipline and consistency are key in whatever I do, whether it be Bible Study, working out, chores and good habits in my home, and even decluttering. You see, my home had been in such a constant state of chaos for so long that we had accumulated an enormous amount of belongings that didn’t ever find a home. Things would just be thrown about in every room, and my room was always the “catch all”, especially when company was coming. So, along with taking care of my heart, soul, mind, and body, I felt the Lord leading me to declutter my home. I knew that I would not be able to get rid of the mind clutter and find clarity in what exactly the Lord wanted me to do next without getting rid of the clutter in my home. So, though I dreaded starting the process because of how overwhelming it was, I started anyway. I started small….in my bathroom. It took me a full week, working a little bit at a time (which was all I could seem to fit in with my schedule), to finish that small area! I thought, “I’m never going to get my whole house done!” But, I kept feeling the Lord nudging me to keep at it. I knew that He had a plan, and in order to find out more of what the plan was, I would have to keep moving forward in all the areas He was calling me to work on. And, man….those areas kept coming. As soon as He’d show me one, He’d show me another. It would overwhelm me with how much He wanted to change in me! But, that overwhelm keeps me humble so that I understand it’s not the work I’m doing that should get the glory, it’s not me…it’s His strength in me that keeps me moving forward and making those changes. He deserves ALL the glory! So, next I decided that we would tackle my youngest daughter’s bedroom (which was so full of stuff, she hadn’t slept in there in years)! She would help me, because I didn’t want to toss anything without her approval. Well, she’s 10, so she LOVES everything! But, she did get rid of 3 bags of clothes, which made me so proud! But, toys, she didn’t want to get rid of much. We worked for a week before she headed off to summer camp, and I hoped we would finish before she left, but we did not get it done. So, while she was at camp, I chose to start on my room, which remember was the “catch all”, meaning it was probably one of the worst rooms in our house! I worked super hard for 3 days and got all but 2 drawers and my closet floor finished. I even rearranged my furniture! It’s so, so much better. And, since then, I have completed my room in it’s entirety, and we worked through my daughter’s room bit by bit. We did finish her room, but I’m finding with kids, it’s a constant work in progress, because they are still growing! Clothes will always have to be decluttered, as well as their taste in their belongings, but it is much easier to do when we stay on top of it by season. The dining room was tough because it had an armoire full of games, arts & crafts, and an organizational system of 12 cubbies with everything from homeschool books and curriculum, to coloring books, and whatever else my youngest had shoved in the drawers! It took a little while, but I did get it done before we started school this fall! I’m so thankful that I don’t have that ALL or NOTHING mentality anymore, or I’d probably never get anything accomplished at all!

Since starting the decluttering process over the summer, my mind got some more clarity. I felt like the next step after decluttering was to bring my youngest daughter back home for homeschooling! My original goal was to have the entire house, including the basement fully decluttered before we started school. That was a pretty impossible task, and I did not get that accomplished, but I will accomplish exactly what He wants in His exact time. More and more get done as time allows. And, the house is still being maintained, even since starting back to homeschooling, and I’ve even gotten into the habit of meal planning and grocery shopping on a regular basis (which is pretty important when you’re trying to continue on your health journey).

I’ve since learned that I will never be fully on top of everything, because He is the One in control and not me. I will just follow His lead each day, and I will accomplish exactly what He has planned for me, and when I do that, I feel good, because I know it’s exactly where I’m supposed to be. I also accomplish so much more when I’m in tune with Him and His plans. He is helping me to become the best version of myself, and I think where He’s leading me next is to help others who have struggled just like I have! It’s really being whole and complete in every area: heart, soul, mind, and body. And, because I really enjoy network marketing, and I believe it is the avenue that the Lord could use my voice to help others like He’s helped me, I am going to follow His lead into Arbonne, to reach others for His glory through sharing more and more of what I’ve learned about whole health, in order to help others feel healthy and whole, too.

So, there you have it! An update on my life….the story that Jesus has been writing in and through me. I am a work in progress, and I’m finally not just learning all He has for me, but I’m doing all He asks! And, that’s what makes all the difference!

With love,

Dena

November 17, 2022

Week 3 – Live Out His Purpose For You

“Everything is permissible for me” —but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me” —but I will not be mastered by anything.

I Corinthians 6:12

I think I’m going to change the format of my Wellness Revelation Bible Study posts to just me sharing with you what the Lord laid on my heart during the week. It’s more relatable that way, even if you aren’t doing the study with us.

I believe the Lord gives each of us gifts and a purpose to live out, and ultimately it’s always to lead others into a life of joy and freedom in Christ. I had never really considered that was my purpose…. but the more I think about it, the more I realize it’s really His purpose for us all! We all have different gifts that help us to do this, and because we are all unique, He uses us in different ways to accomplish this same purpose. He created you to speak into the world in a way that only you can, and me in a way that only I can.

I’ve gotten caught up in the day to day grind, but I’m seeing that He has purpose even in those things if we will just slow down and allow Jesus to live through all the moments. As we live day to day, in whatever occupations we have or even as homeschool moms or stay-at-home moms, we can provide evidence that Jesus is who He says He is, and that He helps us, encourages us, redeems and sets us free, and saves us from our sin and ourselves. Even in our failures, struggles, and the day to day “To Do” list, He is our strength. He picks us up out of the grave and releases us from bondage. We get the opportunity to put His strength on display through the choices we make, the actions we take, and the voices we use. What we do shows Christ’s love and power inside us to a world that needs to see.

We have the opportunity to be the change. We are called to live for His higher purposes, a higher accountability, and to display self-discipline. If others see us making poor choices, what are we saying about our God of power and love? If we are walking around with stress rather than thankfulness and joy, our countenance shows it. And, that is not going to display His love or power in our lives.

I don’t know about you, but I can have lots of goals for myself, my family, my home, and my work. And, these goals cause me to want to become a better version of myself. But, I can get caught up in trying harder to work out “my” plan. In becoming a better version of me (because He is convicting me in areas I need to improve) I can sometimes get overwhelmed with the “doing” and not just rest in Him. So, for me, a schedule is really good for discipline in my life, but I cannot let the schedule control me. I must rest in Him and His leading. I have to slow down and be present with others. I mean, why “do” the changing, if it doesn’t affect my peace of mind, my facial expressions, and my connection with others? I can’t find the peace of mind, a positive countenance and connection without His leading me at all times, and my constant connection with Him. Thankfully, His Spirit in us already gives us the self-discipline or self-control we need. He gifted that to us when we received Him as Savior and Lord in the form of the Fruits of the Spirit. I’ve often thought these fruits were things I need to work at or on, rather than realizing they are already given to me as gifts just for being His child. I just have to allow Him to live them out in me. We just live out the truth of His love, as dearly loved, valued, and cherished children of God who happen to live in a fallen, sinful world. We obey because we love. The more we love Him, the more natural the obedience will come. When we are obedient, self-discipline naturally follows.

What do we need in order to do His work? Energy!!! His job is to do the work in and through us, our job is to take care of ourselves and make healthy choices that will benefit us for the long haul. If I choose to live a healthy life, I am allowing myself the opportunity to be on mission, living out His purpose…what He created me for—reaching the unreachable in the darkest places. The types of foods we eat definitely affect how we feel, and how we do our work. There is power in our food. What else can get into the smallest cells in our bodies and change them? Only God’s Spirit, and Jesus, the Word, can go that deep. And the quality of life we enjoy is determined by the quality of food we eat. I’ve also recently realized that the foods that I eat and the way that I take care of myself definitely affect the way I think and the mindset that I have. So, it’s not just good food for our bodies, but we also need to be fueling our minds at the same time! I do this through getting still and opening the Word of God, through worship that penetrates my soul, and through awesome podcasts, and good books. And, recently I took on a 30 Day Gratitude challenge where each day I am writing a personal note of gratitude for different people in my life. All these things are awesome ways to fuel the mind.

If you are anything like me, we can easily become overwhelmed and stressed with all the things that need to get done on a daily basis. We are busy! We are busy doing good things like leading a Bible Study, leading a homeschool co-op class, keeping the house clean, cooking healthy meals, running our kids to their practices or to church functions, or to lessons, and working on ourselves by working out, and growing as a person. It’s A LOT. But, I’m learning that it’s in the being still, even for just a few moments each day and surrendering my day and my tasks to the Lord, that I am able to be more joyful, more upbeat, more ready to take on all the things I have to do. And, when I take that time to be still, He multiplies my time. But, when I don’t take the time, not only do I not get as much done, but I also become grouchy with the kids, worn out so much quicker, and my mind starts going to dark places where my self-talk becomes a punching bag within. I want to live a healthy, whole life (mind, body, spirit, soul) so that I am freed up to love myself in a healthy and righteous way (not selfishly) and to love and pour into others.

I loved Alisa Keeton’s story, in Chapter 3 of The Wellness Revelation, about The Very Hungry Caterpillar children’s book, and how that Caterpillar got distracted with all the different types of foods available to him – most of which were unhealthy – and how we are like that caterpillar because we get distracted so easily with all the things going on around us. But, just like the caterpillar had a chance to turn things around by going into a cocoon, we also have that opportunity. I feel like that’s where I’m at right now. I’m in a cocoon where I’m discovering lots of dark places that need changed. And, I’m doing the hard things, just like the caterpillar….and those hard things take time. But, I get to go into this cocoon with the Lord who is with me all the time. We like to rush, we want to see the change NOW. We want to see the beauty of the butterfly emerging and flying into freedom. But, we can’t rush through the struggle and suffering or the beauty doesn’t emerge. We have to go through the hard, the times it may feel easier to give up, but if we stick to the disciplines the Lord is laying on our hearts and keep pressing forward, eventually the change and the beauty, and the freedom will come! And, though I can’t wait for that day, I’m treasuring these moments of growth the Lord is taking me through, the hard things, the life lessons, these times waiting on the Lord and His timing. I am becoming dependent on the voice of Love to lead me and give me strength through the hard, dark cocoon.

And, I know if you’re at all like me, you know that breaking bad habits and starting new ones is another HARD thing. It takes around 3 weeks or 21 days to break a bad habit. But, it takes about 3 months before new habits become established as a part of our daily lives. It’s a compound effect….the more we do the hard thing/the new habit, the better we get at doing it, and the more good habits we can add over time. I think in the past, I’ve tried to add too many good habits at once, and I couldn’t keep up with all the “good” I wanted to do. It’s better to add one small thing at a time until it becomes easy, then add another. Don’t go and try to change everything about yourself in a day or a week or even a month! It’s too much! Slow and steady wins the race! And, most importantly we have to allow the Lord to guide us. He wants us to be free, even more than we do. He wants us to live abundantly, that’s what He designed us for. But, we have to listen to His leading in where He wants us to change, and to trust Him with the ugly moments, the hard times, the struggle in the becoming who He designed us to be.

Here is another passage that has really spoken to me through the cocoon stage:

21 “Fear not, O land;
    be glad and rejoice,
    for the Lord has done great things!
22 Fear not, you beasts of the field,
    for the pastures of the wilderness are green;
the tree bears its fruit;
    the fig tree and vine give their full yield.

23 “Be glad, O children of Zion,
    and rejoice in the Lord your God,
for he has given the early rain for your vindication;
    he has poured down for you abundant rain,
    the early and the latter rain, as before.

24 “The threshing floors shall be full of grain;
    the vats shall overflow with wine and oil.
25 I will restore[a] to you the years
    that the swarming locust has eaten,
the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter,
    my great army, which I sent among you.

26 “You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied,
    and praise the name of the Lord your God,
    who has dealt wondrously with you.
And my people shall never again be put to shame.
27 You shall know that I am in the midst of Israel,
    and that I am the Lord your God and there is none else.
And my people shall never again be put to shame.

Joel 2:21-27

I feel like this passage is telling me that He is the restorer of all things! Whatever the locusts have eaten, He will restore! All the mistakes I’ve made, all the years I have struggled, all the wrong I’ve done, He is making new and is restoring. Praise His Name!! I also love in verse 23 where it says, “…..he has given the early rain for your vindication; he has poured down for you abundant rain, the early and the latter rain, as before.” The definition of vindication is: the action of clearing someone of blame or suspicion; proof that someone or something is right, reasonable, or justified. He loves me so much that He doesn’t want me to feel shame anymore, to feel guilt from the wrongs I’ve done. He wants to clear me, but not only clear me but bring abundance into my life! I believe we can live an abundant life in the here and now, we don’t have to wait until heaven for that! He gives it now! We just have to pursue Him, love Him, live in Him and He through us!

Love you all!

Dena

P.S. Please let me know by commenting if you can relate to any of this! I’m hopeful that sharing some of my struggles and growth that others can relate and somehow benefit.

August 23, 2022

It’s not easy being vulnerable, but it’s time…

Are you in bondage like I’ve been? Let’s connect!

I am a mess. Seriously, a big mess! I feel like God is taking me on quite a journey to humble me and show me that I am nothing without Him. And, I am finally realizing this truth….I am nothing without Him, but everything with Him.

All my life I have struggled with being on time, procrastination, perfectionism, people pleasing, keeping my home clean and organized, sticking to a schedule, etc.

It took some hard knocks for God to get my attention and show me that I was trying to work my way into His favor, and in the process I was putting up many idols that were blocking true intimacy with Him. I was a believer, yes. I read my Bible often and did Bible Studies. I did all the “right” things, but I came to realize that oftentimes I was doing them to check off a box, or to make myself look right in my own eyes and in other’s eyes. I didn’t realize that my heart was not right. You see, you can learn, yet not understand….and that is where I was at. It’s also possible to learn, but not change, not take the action needed to make the changes God wants to make in your life. I would read the Scriptures, and pray, but there were passages that I just didn’t “get”. A couple of those were Matthew 15:11-32 (with a focus on vs. 25-32), and Luke 10:38-42. The first passage is about the Prodigal Son. I related so much with the older son and didn’t “get” why the one that was so wrong got such a great reward, when the older son had never done anything rebellious and didn’t get any accolades. (I was the compliant child and had carried that into my adulthood, but felt like all my hard work never paid off, it rarely felt like anyone even noticed). The second passage is about Mary and Martha, and Jesus rebuked Martha for trying to work hard and serve, when Mary was just sitting at the feet of Jesus. I didn’t “get” that. (Again, I would do things to try to prove myself, but instead would be put down or things would go unrecognized). But, like I said, the Lord has taken me on a journey and revealed so many things to me, and I am so grateful!

I would say the journey of revelation started about 6 years ago. I used to be very political and share my beliefs on social media. I believed that there really was only one way to vote, and that was Biblically, and if you were a Christian, that’s the way you should vote. I upset some church members on a few occasions when I would post my views (which I felt were the right views, the Biblical views). Some of them blocked me and never said anything. But, a few of them called me a bigot, and other harsh names. I just took it as persecution for standing up for my faith. However, one time a lady messaged me and really let me have it. She told me that she would never allow her son into my Sunday School class with my radical beliefs. That hurt me to my core. It upset me so bad that I really had to pray and ask God to help me to forgive her, and show me where I might be wrong (because remember, I didn’t believe I was wrong). God showed me through that, as well as many other trials I went through, that I was a prideful person. Pride is what caused Satan’s fall! I certainly did not want to have that as a character trait! I saw others as “worse” than me. I didn’t see people through Jesus’ eyes. He created us all and loves us all the same. He loved me before I even knew Him, and Romans 5:8 tells us that “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” He died for everyone while we were still sinning, while we were the worst of the worst. He loved us that much! I knew then that I needed to learn to see people the way Jesus saw people. I also learned that Jesus is all about relationships. He went out of His way to be with the sinners, the unlovely, the untouchables. I knew that I needed to do the same; to get rid of the idols of pride, perfectionism, people pleasing and more. I needed to focus on building genuine relationships with people. I needed to love even the unlovely, and God allowed me to do that, which was also a period of growth for me. So pride is where He began His work in me.

Next, He started working on my perfectionism. Like I said, I have struggled my whole life with keeping my home clean! I still do! This doesn’t sound like perfectionism, because you’d think if I was trying to be perfect, my home would also be perfect! Well, that’s not exactly how I am. I hold such high standards for myself, that I then become overwhelmed by the mess, and procrastinate starting because I don’t even know where to begin. And, I have such high standards that they are unrealistic or nearly impossible to meet. So, instead of moving forward, I freeze and get nothing done, or very little, until it piles up and gets worse and worse, and I can’t ignore it anymore. But, by then it’s so bad, that I can never get things the way I want them, so I tell myself, it’s not even worth trying. I now believe it’s a serious sickness in my mind, a way that Satan keeps me stuck! So, I ditched perfection, and have learned to just do my best. I still struggle with overwhelm and procrastination sometimes, but practicing good habits and routines definitely helps.

Then, God showed me that there was more He wanted to work on in my life. He’s great at that! And, I’m sure, as long as I’m listening, He will keep revealing more! That more was another struggle that I’ve had for years! (Over half my life now.) A struggle that I’ve just lived with, and teetered back and forth on for so long that it just seemed ‘normal’. He opened my eyes to my weight issue. I have known that I’m obese for a very long time. In fact, I’ve tried just about every diet program out there. (Weight Watchers, Weigh Down Workshop, Flat Belly, First Place, The Daniel Plan, New Life Promise, Noom, counting calories with apps or on logs, and I’m sure there was probably more than these). However, none worked for the long haul. I’d lose for awhile, and then I’d lose the battle and start regaining. It was a terrible cycle, over and over again. I always felt like God could use me more if I’d just get the weight off. However, I never saw this as anything more than food addiction, or emotional eating. (Even calling it an addiction was something new to me). However, God began to show me that this eating problem was actually not just an addiction, but a stronghold in my life. Food had become an idol. Something I’d go to instead of God. I also viewed weight loss and exercise as a chore, something that was hard to do, and not enjoyable. But, then I was introduced to The Wellness Revelation. I’d been through “Christian” weight loss programs before, but nothing that connected my heart, mind, and spirit like The Wellness Revelation did. The Lord completely renewed my mind, and He is continuing to change my heart, and is showing me that His power and Spirit are in me! And, because of His power in me, I can do anything I set my mind to, even the hard things! And, I have to say that this has been a JOY, not something that is a chore. The food has been exceptional, and exercise is something I view as worship and gratitude! I am able to use my body for health and wholeness, and as an act of worship. Movement now is freeing, as is eating whole and healthy. Some days are harder, because breaking a stronghold is not easy. Satan still tries to tempt me or make me see myself in ways other than the Lord sees me. But, I am excited to continue this journey, and this time I am confident that the Lord will take me to complete freedom and my body, mind, and spirit will continue to transform in the process.

He is a good God, and releases the captives, and He is releasing me! I have to share this with others in hopes that someone else may want to join me on this journey! If that is something that interests you, please leave a comment and let me know. I’d love to connect with you and share even more!

With love and in Christ,

Dena

January 15, 2017

Being a Friend Through Difficult Times

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My best friend is going through one of the worst possible circumstances I’ve ever heard of.  This has happened before with another friend….a life altering circumstance that seems like a black hole of unending depth, sorrow, and muck.  How can you be a friend to someone in such turmoil?  Often times I feel completely helpless for her.  I don’t know what to say, I don’t know how to help, and I don’t really even know how to pray.  It’s gut wrenching, my heart hurts (along with hers), and I truly can’t imagine the pain she must have to process minute by minute each day.  It’s the kind of thing that you think can’t get worse, but it does.  The kind of pain that comes in every direction and effects every part of her life.  She is a rock star, though, and is taking one day at a time, trusting the Lord, and trying to thrive through this.  I, on the other hand, feel like I’m failing as a friend, am not handling things well at all, and am sad a lot.  I can’t even really imagine how I’d handle all she’s going through if it were me.  I think I’d just curl up in a ball, cry all the time, and not be able to function.  Yes, I’d try to pray, and try to trust God, but I would be so hurt and angry, I don’t know how well I’d do anything.

I also have a lot of fear.  Because this has happened before, I know that it can devastate a friendship.  It can cause emotional distance because of the major life changes, it can even cause moves across many miles.  I don’t think either side desires the distance, really, but it can occur.  I think I am very cautious with friendships as it is.  I don’t allow myself to get too close to too many people because I’ve been hurt deeply before and, because I’m an introvert and many people don’t understand an introvert.  But, I do love my friends.  I try to be a good friend, and hope that I am.  I’m just very careful who I truly open myself up to.  But, once you’re in my inner circle, I love you.  I would do anything for you.  I hurt, empathize, sympathize, hold accountable, and hope you will feel comfortable enough to do the same for me.  Most do (if they come into that inner circle).  I open up a part of me that few know.  And, I trust that all will be held in confidence.

And, then there’s anger.  I get angry at the people who wrongly judge, who don’t understand what’s been happening, yet cast their opinions or views to my friend.  Christian people who can’t possibly understand what all has happened, who get ugly with and confront her.  People who really have no business doing so because they don’t know and don’t understand.  They think they are trying to help her, or hold her accountable to something that they feel is a standard set for believers, yet who rather should be supporting her, understanding her, believing she is doing the right things, and has been praying and seeking the Lord in and through it all.  This is hard enough for her, after all, she doesn’t need the extra condemnation.

And when these awful life circumstances occur, I get lost.  I don’t know what to do, or how to appropriately respond.  I pray, of course.  I don’t always know HOW to pray, but I do pray.  I try to help however help is needed.  In one of these circumstances, I didn’t know what to do, so I organized a group of ladies to go over to my friend’s home and clean it.  Really clean it.  A good amount of help showed up while the friend was not at home, and we really made a big difference, and I think that my friend greatly appreciated it.  It really wasn’t much, but it was something.  I didn’t have a clue what else I could do!  Another friend, I took a homemade basket of fruit to.  Still, so simple, but it was something that I could do, and that I knew she could use.  Other times I’ve thought of things that I thought would be helpful that my friend was nowhere near ready for, and I end up hurting her further.  Those are really difficult to take, as my intentions were certainly to help, not to hurt.  Being a friend in difficult times can be so hard.

These times are so hard.  You hear more and more unbelievably awful things happening these days.  I can’t help but believe that the end is near.  Jesus will be coming back soon.  I can’t wait until that day when there will be no more pain, hurt, sadness, and heartache.  We will truly be free.  Until that time, we must press on, seek His face, try to be the best person we can despite awful circumstances, and pray continually.

Has anything like this happened to you or someone you love?  What do you do?  How do you show your friendship? I’d love to hear.  Maybe it will help me to better know how to help when my friends are suffering.  That’s really all I want to do…..help.

In Christ,

Dena

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January 2, 2017

Teaching From Rest Book Review

Right before school started this year, I discovered this little gem of a book called Teaching From Rest:  A Homeschooler’s Guide to UNSHAKEABLE PEACE by Sarah Mackenzie.  It was a quick read, but wonderful!  I also used the Companion Guide to go along with it.

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I LOVE Homeschooling!  I do!  Even though I’ve been at it for 12 years, I still occasionally feel like I need a renewed spirit, a renewed focus, a change-up of some kind.  I am very confident in my curriculum choices, my methods, and in the way I like to teach and the way my children learn.  But, sometimes I feel like there’s still something more that I’m missing; things have become dull, or I am no longer looking forward to the year.  So, often times, I do more research.  I think maybe I need to change up curriculum, or make a different kind of schedule.  Those things may be needed, but I think deep down, what I’ve really been looking for is REST.  A state of rest.  Over this past summer, I was feeling those feelings again….that need for something different, a renewed focus or goal, a change-up of some sort, when I came across this little book called Teaching From Rest.  It peaked my interest, so I picked it up.  I didn’t read it for some time, though….that happens sometimes when I get a new book.  Finally, at the end of the summer, I decided to take some time and read this little gem.  On the first few pages, I realized that there was also an optional study guide that I could purchase and download.  So, I did that, and printed it out.  I love being able to take a book and make it more into a book study, with notes, and truly feel like I’m growing and changing, so this option seemed like a great plan!

The book is written in three parts.  Part One is: Whose “Well Done” Are You Working For?  Part Two is: Curriculum Is Not Something You Buy.  And, Part Three is: Be Who You Are!  Each of the parts are broken down even further so that you can read in sections, which is nice (especially if you are frequently interrupted).  If you get the Companion Guide, it has a place for you to take notes throughout the chapters, then some application questions following that with ample space to record answers and notes.

Part 2 was very applicable.  Sarah gave clear steps on how to teach from rest and obtain unshakeable peace.  Also in Part 2, she shows you how to break down your busy schedules to see how much time you have, and how much time you need, to homeschool.  We often plan our time around our homeschooling, but she suggests we plan our homeschooling around our lives, around the time we have left.  Sounds like a strange concept, huh?  It makes complete sense to me now, and I am grateful to have read her tips on this!  I did follow her advice, and did simplify our days somewhat, but I think this type of schedule will be a work in process for a while.  In fact, now that we are mid-year, I am going to go back to this book and re-evaluate our schedule, and this time I’m hoping to add in a tea time and a time for rest and reading mid-day (she explains this further in part 2).

The book goes right along with my Charlotte Mason style of homeschooling, too!  But, I do believe that whether you use Charlotte Mason’s methods or not, you will still glean a lot of great information from this little book.

After we had been in our school year for a good chunk of time, I realized things weren’t going as smoothly as I’d hoped. So, partway through our year, I had to make some changes to curriculum and our schedule.  With just a few tweaks, things did improve, and now that we are at the beginning of a new semester I’m changing a few more things, and I believe things will improve immensely!

One of the things that I haven’t implemented that was suggested in this book was a Quiet Reading Hour.  (I briefly mentioned this above).  I really want to include a time for this beginning with the New Year!  I wish I had added it at the beginning of our school year.  We do read, we read a lot.  However, I don’t get that time to read for me.  And, implementing a Quiet Reading Hour would be great because then we’d all get to enjoy some free reading.  Just a time of reading for fun!  I think we could all use that!  I do have one that is not yet reading, so this could prove a bit difficult, but maybe I could give her some audio books to look through.  And, as long as each of us are in separate spaces and being quiet, it should work out just fine.

This book is truly a little gem that I will have to pick up each year, possibly several times a year, to reevaluate, to get inspired, to refocus.  It brings me back to my goals in homeschooling, a simpler way, a restful and joyful way, full of peace.  I would highly recommend it!  And, I would also recommend the Companion Journal.  Check them out here.

Wishing you a blessed and happy New Year!

Dena

November 18, 2016

Stuck Bible Study Review

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Stuck.  How many of us feel stuck in some way?  This Bible Study by Jennie Allen was another video study with 8 sessions.  It covered the topics:  stuck, broken, mad, discontent, scared, overwhelmed, sad, and unstuck.  This was a simple and quick study to complete each week.  Often times I could complete the entire week’s study in one day.  (But, I like to study for an hour a day, so if you study for less time than that, you could spread it out over several days).  At first, I wasn’t sure what I thought of the study.  I didn’t quite understand what “stuck” meant.  But, as I went on through the study, it became more clear.  This is a women’s study, and so many of the things discussed were issues that we deal with in our personal lives.  It was a lot about being real.  Not putting on a front with others, but being vulnerable and showing who you really are.  That’s tough for many women, so it would take some getting “unstuck” for the vulnerability to take place.  I did this in a group, and so we were able to let some of our walls down with one another and share some of our realness.

My favorite week was the topic mad (week 2).  God really spoke to me that week.  I struggle a lot with anger.  The passage for this week was James 1:19-27.  I did not remember ever reading James 1:26 before (though I know I have).  It says, “If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight reign on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.”  WOW!  I know when I get angry, I have a really hard time keeping a tight reign on my tongue.  I say things I regret, a lot!  My voice becomes loud, discouraging, nagging, and hurtful.  I hurt those I love the most.  And, worst of all, my faith becomes worthless!  That is not how I desire to be.  I learned that I had to die to what I felt my rights were….things like being understood, the right to move quickly, a good reputation, my family’s approval, my right to have respect, obedience, and happiness.  When we die to our rights, we find freedom.  We get “unstuck.”  That’s what this study is all about.  Each of us have our own “stuck” places.  We each struggle with some kind of sin.  We each can let some walls down, and become real with these struggles.  We all struggle, and we know we all struggle, so why is it so hard to be real about those struggles?

The study is laid out as follows:  At the beginning of each session, there is a short reading on the topic for the week (usually just a couple of pages).  It’s kind of an introduction to the week.  Then, comes several pages of the Scripture to study with questions, charts, and space for responses.  At the end of each study week is a who are you, Lord? what do you want from me? response page.  Following that are four projects to be completed each week.  The projects include titles such as:  discover, measure, imagine, respond, compare, list, consider, act, answer, identity, question, and commit.  They include charts, drawings, and different types of application.  Then, to close out the week, there are a couple pages entitled wrapping up.

Though I was unsure of the study to begin with, it ended up being a really great study that I enjoyed very much.  It helped me get past some “stuck” places, and to learn ways to work through those places if they come up again in my life (which, they probably will, because sin is sin, and we all do it)!  It also showed me the importance of being real.  People need to see that we are real in this world….that we’re not perfect, that we’re approachable and we care because more often than not, we are struggling in the same ways that other people are.  And, if we’re real, we can help one another, be an encouragement, and an accountability partner during those “stuck” times.  You can find this study here.  I hope you will take a look for yourselves.  Find your “stuck” places and get “unstuck” by dying to self and allowing Christ to live through you!

In Christ,

Dena

November 1, 2016

Autumn and Thankfulness

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I love autumn!  The changing of the seasons,  the new scents, the cooler weather, the colors, the new beginnings and better routines.  I love to light candles, decorate, and make goodies that include pumpkin and spices!  It’s a time to reflect on all we can be thankful for; a time of thanksgiving and praise; a time for abundance from harvest, to look back on the first Thanksgiving, and remember how our country began.  Simple beginnings with Indians, like Squanto, helping the newcomers to this land to survive, to be able to spread the gospel of Jesus.  May we strive to be a light like Squanto was so long ago.  May we help our neighbors, help them grow, walk along side them and teach them how to survive a world of chaos.  It’s so easy to see the ugliness of our world.  We need to be the light in this dark place.  We need to be encouraging words, a smiling face, to have a twinkle in the eye, the hope that draws people to Jesus.  May this season be a time of refreshment and renewal.  May we be hospitable and invite others to share in a time of thanksgiving, encouragement, and renewal with us.  May we see the goodness of Jesus together.  May we see His beauty in the changing seasons of creation around us.  May we breathe deeply, find rest and peace, and be that rest and peace that others need to find.

Last year, I did a daily Scripture Writing Plan from the blog Sweet Blessings.  She even has blank pages that you can write the Scripture onto, and it just makes it look so nice and festive!  Last year the verses focused on Gratitude for November, and then I continued with the December plan.  I would encourage you to use this plan or another like it to help get you in a mindset of Thankfulness.  It certainly kept me focused last year, and I plan to do it again this year.

I hope and pray that you will find gratitude in your heart this autumn, that you will take joy in the beauty before you, the smells, the opportunities, and the abundance the Lord grants each of us.  I pray also, that you will spread thankfulness to those you’re around.  I pray that joy will overflow from you onto others that may feel without hope.  We are so blessed!  May we be a blessing to others!

In Christ,

Dena

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July 15, 2016

Nature Journal Entries

My Nature Journal is a simple spiral bound sketch book that I added paper and then magazine pictures to to make it pretty.

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Nature Drawing and Journaling is something that I’ve been interested in for a while.  I don’t take the time often to work on my Nature Journal, but I do enjoy really looking at God’s beauty in creation and trying to recreate it in my drawings.  This past school year, we began going through Barry Stebbings Nature Drawing and Journaling in book and DVD form.  The DVD is probably my favorite as I am a visual learner, and he actually shows you exactly how to draw borders, and gives examples of his many Nature Journals.  It’s been fun creating the borders and then later filling in the pages with more drawings taken from nature and then adding poems, Scriptures, or some kind of writing to compliment the artwork.  Unfortunately, my children aren’t as interested in this kind of art and journaling, so though they do some Nature Study, they don’t normally make a Nature Journal.  This past year, for Nature Study we used NaturExplorers from Shining Dawn Books for studying nature.  They have some great ideas on how to study nature in some creative ways, and also some great living book options on the topics covered.  This fall, we will be using the Creation Illustrated magazine.  It has phenominal photos of nature, with nature stories from a Creation viewpoint.  And, it also has some lesson plan ideas to cover the nature topics covered in the magazine.  I’m looking forward to it!  Below are some of the drawings and journaling I’ve done in my Nature Journal.  Maybe it will inspire you to try it for yourself!

I enjoy adding poems to my drawings.  I use Favorite Poems Old and New as a resource when I do add them.  I also will add quotes I find that I like, as well as Scriptures.

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I actually drew the picture below while visiting the Anita B. Gorman Nature Center.  Then, later (a couple years later…lol) I added the mixed colored leaves border around the side and bottom using Barry Stebbing’s Nature Journaling and Drawing.

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This is one of my favorites!!  I LOVE Powell Gardens.  It is a beautiful place to visit.  There is always plenty of beautiful things to draw.  I began experimenting more with shading in this drawing, and I think it makes a world of difference.  I never said I was good at drawing, but I sure do enjoy it!

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This was done from one of Barry Stebbing’s recommendations.  It’s done in marker, and then at the end, I used blue marker on paper, dipped a paintbrush in water, and lightly “painted” around the tree.

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This is how I typically start my pages now…with some sort of border.  This comes from Barry Stebbing’s courses, also.  He does nice borders in his journals and then fills in with other drawings, and journaling.  I like to do that now, also.  This is unfinished, because I’ve not yet filled in the rest of the page.

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I hope this gives some of you some inspiration so that you will try Nature Journaling and Drawing for yourself.  It’s relaxing and fun!

I have been super busy getting ready for the upcoming school year.  Lots of Lesson Planning has been taking place, a partial basement purge occurred, and I hope to get more done soon, and then lots of summer fun is happening, too!  I hope to be finishing up the majority of my school planning soon, and then I’ll share what all we are doing.  It is going to be a fun and exciting year, I think!

 

July 3, 2016

This Year’s Art Projects

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Major homeschool planning is underway, so in the mean time, I thought I’d share some of our art projects from this past school year.  We had fun working on them, and most turned out really great.  In fact, I didn’t realize how much I enjoy drawing and painting and using different mediums until I started doing it with my children during our school days.  But, when I did, I felt relaxed and thoroughly enjoyed myself.  I am still learning a lot, and have a long way to go, but it’s been fun, and hopefully we all will continue to improve.  For art, we used Creating a Masterpiece.  And, this summer, the kids are taking some fun art classes from a local high school teacher who has just put together some art days for free.  They are having a blast with it.  This same art teacher won 1st prize at our Country Fair last year, and I loved what she did.  I’m trying to convince her to teach me how she did it!  (If you’re reading this….hint!  hint!  Hahaha!)  Below are some of the projects that we did!

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This is called The Lighthouse and was done in acrylics.

These were done in pastels.  The one on the right is called Baby Blue Bird.

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This was done in colored pencil.  It’s called Clown Fish.  The above pictures were done by me.  Below will be my two daughters…oldest (15) to youngest (9).

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The 15 year old claims she’s no good at art, but I think she did pretty well.  And, she definitely has an artistic knack for painting nails, and doing hair!  My 9 year old loves art, but gets frustrated when she doesn’t think her work is turning out well.  She stopped working on the clownfish for that reason.  However, I think she’s definitely a budding artist, and she’s definitely the crafty one in our house.

What keeps you busy in the summer months?

Have a wonderful and safe 4th of July weekend!

 

June 4, 2016

Summer Projects

Since we homeschool, projects usually have to wait until summer break.  Things like painting, huge decluttering sessions, home improvements, etc.

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A couple of summer’s ago, I refinished my oak dining room table.  Last summer I began the Kon Mari Method of decluttering and simplifying.  This summer is no different.  I have several things on my project list!  Here are some of those things, and I don’t know if I’ll even be able to complete them all!

  • Major Basement Declutter…this in and of itself is a HUGE job.  Our basement has become a catch all…and is really in bad shape.  I can’t wait to get it cleared out!
  • Move the toddler out of our bedroom and into her sister’s.  This means a new bed (hopefully a trundle) for them to share, and some rearranging of dressers and chest of drawers.
  • Potty training the toddler completely.  (Since the toddler was just mentioned, I figured I’d add this one in!  She is close to being finished, but still not 100%).
  • Kitchen Declutter, paint, and fix some minor cabinet issues.
  • Bathroom remodel (this one is mostly being hired out).
  • New Entry Doors.
  • Landscaping has been framed already, but now plants need to go in.
  • Make a head board for our bed.

Those are JUST the house projects!  Other projects include:

  • Sell baby items.
  • Price, list and sell old curriculum.  I also have a curriculum sale I’m going to that will help with this.
  • Purchase the rest of the curriculum for next year.
  • Write up lesson plans for our homeschool next year.
  • Make a working schedule for our school year.
  • Create a better chore system with earned money.
  • Create a better bedtime routine for the youngest children.

Something that I MUST do in the midst of all these projects is to remember to HAVE FUN on the summer break….things like swimming, going to the zoo, weekend getaways, summer camps, a family vacation, Royals games, and art days are planned.  Sometimes in the busyness of the summer projects, I can forget to stop the work, and have fun with the kids.  This year, I want to be different.  Memories are waiting to be made, relationships are longing to be built, joy is ready to be had.

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What are your summer plans?  Projects you’d like to complete?  FUN you want to do?